Skip navigation

Monthly Archives: May 2009

It was not without some regret that the least important and most trivial details seemed to come first in recollecting the sequence of events that comprise this story. Few if any of the facts should be construed to be true although although the diligent scholar is sure to find correspondence in early texts that might present scatological impressions of actual events . Certainly Borges’ contributions are pervasive if not entirely invisible. To speak about what will be spoken of is difficult to avoid given the subtle digressions which compose the precession of events. As such it would strain credulity to suggest that the reader will likely end at the place the author begins, however be that as it may (or may not), this story was related to me in passing.

It was at sunset in early summer, when, as the No. 3 train leaves the city coming across the Manhattan Bridge it becomes the scene of an apocalyptic sunset, a moment set outside of life, a place between places, temporarily alleviating the anti-humanity of subterranean travel before again burrowing underground. At such moments the quiet affords the diligent opportunist to capture the private words and looks shared between friends whose guard has come down and from lovers whose hatred uncoils; those who consider those strangers around them as though ephemera. A jaunty brown-skinned chap, a coolie twice removed, tries hard to appear local through his mastery of the nuances of vernacular and fashion succeeds only in confirming to the the astute observer his status as a not recently arrived immigrant from the Asian Sub-continent. Physical frailty, white, strong teeth, and and the chalky gesturing caused by lanky bones lend him an academic intensity that caricatures a stage puppet which serves only to exaggerate the movement of his thin lips which move across his face, held carefully composed in an ineffectual affectation of depth, contemplation and importance; from such a bitter shell cracked comes the first movement:

It was in the state of Orissa, in Behrampur, on the Bay of Bengal that my father, en route to his final trimester of medical school had occasion to hear this story on the street from a tea-seller near the old British railway station. The tea seller, to judge his appearance, had nothing of worth, and distractedly sold his warm chai, as though the coins he received were inconsequential, yet he found my father in the teeming and sweat-shiny crowd, who, in his way and with equal ambivalence watched the trifling exchanges. The bent man as though urgency propelled him and lent confidence and command to his carriage that was misaligned with his caste and profession, stopped my father with a voice and meter that would not tolerate dissent, and then he began:

Young Babu Ji, you are a wise and you will want what I share with you, although you will not be able to repay me in this world nor the next. This karma will not bind us though, as it settles an old debt that will be payed in full many years after our time has passed, by others not us. You are not who you have been, and even now you are not the messenger, only the case the carries it. I will give you two things, one which you will bear for another, and the second which will make you who are to be. Then he gave my father the kitab, that object, from which he made his for. He received nothing else.

[story 3 - mystery girl a la murakami - unspoken  dream sequence]

[story 4 - dust]

some concepts or thought processes have a particular capacity to generate neural activity in excess of what would at first consideration seem due.

dust, as a concept, not a physical substance, has sustained my interest for nearly a decade. i think the concept of the smallest particle in existence plays a central role (current physics suggest that at the smallest hypothesized levels particles break down into either sound or light, perhaps oscillating not just at different frequencies but also in different dimensions). dust as the residual effect of destruction and decay is also highly significant.

camouflage is a recent addition. digital camouflage, which the militaries have switched to from the original pattern is the product of a deeper understanding of the visual system and how information is selectively attended to.  it turns out our pattern recognition system sees the traditional pattern while the digital pattern is selected out for attention, a process by which a blind spot of attention or salience is created.

*far right, my first work using the dust concept, circa 2001

borges chose the labyrinth as a central and recursive theme. dust and camouflage will serve as mine during this process. a theme’s to be resonance will necessitate that it contain multiple layers of meaning and that it have a psychological, esoteric or literary significance.

textural synesthesia and collapsing mental architectures:

excerpt: man eating cats: Murakami, then butchered in a bloodbath of plagiarism.

for a fleeting instant the [droning bees above my head] and the three cats devouring the old woman’s flesh became one in my mind.  for a second or two my locus of self strayed to the border of reality and unreality. The I in my self-concept dissipated. Where was I? What was I doing here? Who are these people, really? I couldn’t get a purchase on the situation, the mental architecture collapsed, i see, no that is insufficient, i feel and experience (still inadequate). no. I AM an intricate and enormous castle made of glass that breaks into shards. i am each piece of glass, i am the space observing the falling glass. all around in darkness and confusion. everything is texture. everything is unpleasant.

[is this phenomenon experienced by others?]

The following posts will be presented as sketches of ideas and ruminations for the purpose of articulating and improving writing as a process.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.